5 Tips for Helping Someone with Depression or Anxiety

When you care about someone who is in a dark place, it’s easy to feel frustrated and powerless to help. Although there is clearly no one-size-fits-all approach to every struggle, here are five general suggestions for reaching out and supporting depressed or anxious family members, friends, coworkers, or other acquaintances.

1- Stay close, but not closer than they want.

Having loved ones, friends, and coworkers you’re close to is wonderful...unless all you really want is some space. Is this person in a place where they are ready to share how they’re really doing, or would they rather not be asked to talk about their troubles? Watch for what people need and don’t need in terms of distance or connection.

What can you do?

When in doubt, ask about the boundaries people are comfortable with and do your best to honor those boundaries.

2 - Don’t try to fix it.

Lay off the pressure. Trust us on this one. Support and connection is important, but people who try to take responsibility for another person’s healing are usually disappointed. Healing happens in a context where people feel free to pursue it, on their own, without demands.

What can you do?

When someone does open up to you, try to listen more than you speak and offer more affection than advice. Sometimes, people just want to vent. If they feel your love and empathy first and foremost, they may be more open to asking for help or ideas in the future.

3 - Stay hopeful, but not annoyingly hopeful.

Believe in this person’s capacity to improve and heal, but don’t get in their face about it. Positivity is important for all of us, but it can become toxic if it ignores or becomes dismissive of somebody’s pain. Hope is wonderful, but can quickly become burdensome if it translates into pressuring, or imposing a rigid recovery timeline.

What can you do?

The science around mental health challenges is more hopeful than most people know. Incremental lifestyle changes in key areas such as nutrition, physical activity, sleep, and healthy relationships can spark better mental health. And that’s great news! Don’t be afraid to share it. But remember, making lifestyle changes can be challenging for anyone, and even more difficult when someone is sapped by depression or overwhelmed by anxiety. Patience and understanding is key.

4 - Support what they want to do when they’re ready. 

Our experience has been that people who feel encouraged and supported in taking steps they are ready to take—when they are ready—are far more likely to have these changes stick. If someone who’s struggling opens up about something they want to try, such as dietary adjustments, more physical activity, or opening up with a counselor, ask how you can help support them, and whether they would like an accountability buddy to help them follow through.

What can you do?

Impact Suite apps offer an Ally feature, where users can pick people they trust to receive updates on their tracker data, and exchange messages. If somebody feels ready for this kind of support, you might offer to connect with them on the Lift mental health app as a way to provide encouragement.

5 - Don’t give up on anyone.

Deeper healing from depression and anxiety is most often a marathon, rather than a sprint. But distance runs require a different kind of skill set, and different kinds of support. Progress in both cases is gradual, and almost never linear. Are you willing to stay with someone on their own healing journey through the ups and downs?

What can you do?

When helping somebody with these challenges, you might need to set some personal boundaries to protect your own time and emotions, and that’s okay too. Be sure to let them know you believe in them, but as the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Mental health needs are important for everyone, not just the clinically depressed or anxious. If you are interested in improving your own stress levels, health, or wellbeing, check our personal growth app, Climb.